As I discussed in "Surprise me September", the past month went above and beyond my request to be surprised - thanks September.
I also mentioned my financial predicament. Coincidently, or not so much, (coincidences do not exist in my opinion) I happened to be reading 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle, on my return to London. The opening chapter discusses how he sat homeless, jobless and broke, in a state of bliss, for sometime after discovering 'the secret to life'. I, not so coincidently, found myself in a similar situation throughout September - one of the most influential months of my life so far.
Before I explain my situation, please don't panic; I have food in my belly, a roof over my head and have have had so throughout the entirety of September. It (September) did, however, expose those people in my life who are truely amazing. One of my favorite quotes states to; "remember those who are there when times are tough so that you know who to share your joy with when things are up". I certainly intend to do this.
I had rented out my room in Battersea to a couple, friends through a friend, for August, while I "lived the dream" in "paradise". We extended this sublease for part of September as I wasn't getting paid until the end of the month for my new teaching job. When I made the decision to do this, again I had not really thought about the reality of the situation. Being homeless at the same time as beginning a new, stressful job is not so much fun. You need to feel a sense of life organisation and stability. Having no home really does not concur to this....at all. Whoops! Lesson learnt. Yes, there is a thought pattern reoccurring here, or lack of. Perhaps something for me to work on. True friends were revealed throughout this time as I simply lived off the kindness of others. Thanks guys, you know who you are and boy, I have got your back.
When I got my own space back I was able to at least organise my personal belongings. Feelings of organisational stability returned and I was able to tune in to how I was feeling about my new job. Not so good. With no disrespect to the school what-so-ever, the way things functioned there were far from what I believe to be a successful learning environment for children. I will leave it there. This time last year, lacking experiences that my travel has provided me with, I would have stuck it out and dealt with the feelings of extreme dread that I was dealing with every morning. BUT, as I mentioned, my trip to Palma and the circumstances that had unfolded so positively and in my favor, had given me strength. I knew the job was not me and was somewhat 'soul destroying'. I left.
On one of the last days in September, I sat with my best friend on our balcony, overlooking The River Thames. She helped me realise that I had had nothing at all - no job, no house, no money and yet I suddenly knew exactly what I wanted. I owed it to 'it' in a way. I knew I had to run my butt off in the London Marathon next year. I had qualified to run in the championship race earlier this year, that's another story, loaded with lessons. I knew I had to prioritise it because running had been my rock, it had calmed me, cleared my head, cheered me up, when I had nothing at all. So that is what I am going to do and that is what my blog will follow. I will blog all things physical, mental and spiritual that keep me on the road, the long, lonely one at that, towards the London Marathon.
Since leaving the job, a new, exciting job has literally fallen my way.My gut, which I have grown to trust instinctively, tells me that it is the right job for me - wahoo!! I am running a 10km this weekend with my new appreciation for my running and starting a new job which is clearly meant to be. Life is good, listen to your gut and watch this space.